1.

Be Much Worse

Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

可能更糟

警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢？

男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那样情况就更糟了！

2.

Talking on the Telephone

Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.

"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.

The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."

Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"

在电话中交谈

　　每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面，然后给他们讲一个故事。一天，他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义，带来了一台电话机。

　　“你们和别人在电话里交谈，并没有看到电话线另一端的人，对吗？”他开始问道。孩子们点头称是。“好的，和上帝交谈就象通过电话交谈一样。他就在另一端，虽然你看不见他，但是他正在聆听你的心声。”

　就在这时，一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道：“那他的电话号码是什么？”

3.

Contented Married Life

A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."

"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"

"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."

His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."

令人满意的婚姻生活

　　一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密，“小事都由我妻子决定，”他解释说：“而我只管大事，我们从不互相干涉，从不生对方的气。我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。”

　　“听起来很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢？”

　　“嗯，”那个人回答说：“她决定我申请什么工作，我们住什么房子，买什么家具，去哪里度假这些事情。”

　　他的朋友很惊奇的问道：“哦？那么你决定哪些重要事情？”

　　“嗯，”他回答：“我决定谁来当首相，我们是否要增加对贫困国家的援助，怎么处理原子弹等等这些问题。”