A Girl Just Like Mother

No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice．

“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her．

So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl．He told his friendly adviser：

“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother．And just as you said，mother liked her”

“So，”asked the friend，“what happened？”

“Nothing，”said the young man．“My father hates her！”

37．和母亲一样的女孩

无论带哪一个女孩回家，这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对。一位朋友劝他说：

“找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。”

于是这位青年人不停地找啊找，终于找到了这么个女孩。

他对他友好的忠告者说：

“正像你说的那样，我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮，甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。也正像你说的那样，我母亲喜欢她。”

“那后来呢？”朋友问。

“没什么，”青年人说。“我父亲讨厌她！”

What Is a Traitor？

Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？”

Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．”

Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？”

Father：“A convert，my son．”

36．什么叫叛徒？

有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒？”

父亲（一位老资格的政治家）：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人。”

有希望的青年人：“那么，离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢？”

父亲：“叫改变信仰者。我的儿子。”

Who's the Writer

My wife, Diana, is a rela-estate agent and I am a writer.She had gotten the listing for a house three doors down from ours and was describing the neighborhood enthusiastically① to a client on the telephone."We have an orthopedic② surgeon,"she said,"a dentist and a stockbroker.And threr's an artist whose wife does television commercials."" Don't forget the writer,"I interjected.She put her hand over the mouthpiece and looked at me quizzically."Who's the writer?"she whispered.

译文：

谁是作家？

我妻子戴安娜是一位房地产开代理人，而我是作家。她有份从我们家住下数隔三个门的一套房子的单子，此刻她正在电话里热情地向一位客户描述这套房子的四周环境。“我们有一位整形外科医生，”她说，“一位牙医和一位股票经纪人。还有一位艺术家，他妻子是搞广告的。”“别忘了作家，”我突然插了一句。妻子用手捂住话筒，探询地望着我。“谁是作家？”她小声地问。

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money... wait for your salary.

　　如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……等着发工资吧